I’d like to share a personal story as an example of progress toward autistic empowerment.
This is the progress I know is possible for any autistic adult, and why I love working with others to make it happen!
For the last ten years since moving to this neighborhood, I’ve made sure to support my small local movie theater even though the seats aren’t very comfortable and they regularly have technical problems. But I love to support small local businesses! Unfortunately, I said goodbye to this theater a couple of weeks ago because of the ableist way they treated me.
I had been planning for weeks to see Deadpool and Wolverine there with my partner. Over the past few years, I’ve really improved my enjoyment of movies by bringing a few sensory supports in my backpack: fidgets, ear plugs, a sweatshirt, a hat, and a small weighted lap pad. So I was ready! We were headed into Theater 3 right on time when a man (who seemed to be a manager) came up to me and said I couldn’t bring my backpack in. I replied that I’d been coming to the theater with my backpack for ten years and had never been told that. He said it’s always been their rule and it probably wasn’t enforced well.
At this point, I flashed back to an outing a few years prior when I brought my kids to a natural history museum. When entering, they told me that they don’t allow backpacks and I had to put mine in a locker. It essentially ruined the visit for me because I didn’t have any of my support items, including water, for the entire visit. I also noticed many women carrying large purses or totes the size of my backpack or larger. I need to carry a backpack instead of a purse because of my chronic back and neck pain. Why is the bag that is most supportive to disabled people the one that isn’t allowed in so many places? Later my therapist pointed out that I probably could’ve asked them for an accommodation because of my autism and back pain. I tucked that idea away for later.
So here was my chance! I told the man that I needed the backpack because it contained accommodations for my autism. He didn't care. He replied that he couldn’t make any exceptions (didn’t he just say this rule wasn’t consistently enforced?) and couldn’t I just take my backpack back to my car (which was two blocks away) and bring whatever I needed in my arms? (Why hadn’t I thought of that? Why do we even need bags if we can just carry everything in our arms?!) I told him that I couldn’t do that and that this was discrimination against disabled people. Why he couldn’t just search my bag for whatever contraband snacks he thought it contained, I’ll never know (spoiler: it didn’t contain any). So I asked for a refund and reiterated that he was being discriminatory as he continued to deny this while ringing it up. We drove to the big multiplex, which luckily had a showing a half hour later, where no one cared about my backpack and I enjoyed all of my sensory supports to the fullest.
I share this because in that moment, I felt angry, but so empowered. Contrast that with the old me who didn’t understand my comfort needs and let others force me to not respect them. Old me had her day ruined and felt beaten down by ableist rules. New me stood up for myself and got to watch the movie in comfort and pride. I want this empowerment and self-advocacy for you too!
-Leigh Ann, Proud Autistic Coaching
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